The Rooms of Insanity
by Katz Potter
Summary: A compilation of stories that are replies to challenges. Funny in an insane way. PG-13 for cussing. Chapter 5, Ch. 3 of 'The Yellow Room,' has now been posted. I liked TYR so much that I wrote a 2nd ch. and wrote a third chapter. Enjoy and please R/R.
1. The Blue Room

This is a response to Nightfall Twen's challenge Ed Kuper Normal Ed Kuper 8 222 2001-10-05T23:07:00Z 2001-10-25T02:28:00Z 5 968 5523 46 11 6782 9.2720 Print 88 

This is a response to Nightfall Twen's challenge. I hope this will be funny, even thought I don't know 'Kung Foo Fighting'. Maybe my dad has it somewhere…. *Comes back without success* Darn. Hey, is it okay if they just sing, "Everybody wants kung foo fighting!"? Please say it's okay. Here we go!

DC: I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EXCEPT MYSELF! 'Kung Foo Fighting' belongs to whoever wrote it, and so does 'Purple People Eater'. Harry Potter & all characters that have to do with HP belong to J.K. Rowling. Hershey's Chocolate Sauce™ belongs to Hershey's™, and the Sears® commercial belongs to Sears®. The Weakest Link line belongs to The Weakest Link. Nancey belongs to herself, and I belong to myself. PREPARE TO LAUGH! (I hope.) Wait! Oreos don't b-long to me, either. They belong to Nabisco. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blue Room Of Insanity 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Harry, Ron, Hermione, Percy, me, and Nancey are in a blue room. Suddenly, I grab Ron, Nancey grabs Percy, and we burst out singing*

M&N (Me & Nancey):Everybody wants kung foo fighting! *Kick & punch Ron & Percy* Kung foo fighting! *We keep doing this until Ron & Percy are thoroughly beat up*

***Colin Creevey runs in***

Colin: Chinese? Where?

M: Not Chinese food. Chinese food is evil and disgusting. (A/n: Expressing opinions… don't have a cow.) It's *starts singing and kicks Ron again* kung foo fighting!

***Cho Chang walks in, looking at herself in a mirror***

Colin: I thought it was Chinese food.

CC (Cho Chang): Well that makes you both ugly **_and_** stupid.

Colin: Does not!

CC: Does too!

C (Colin): Nuh uh!

CC: Uh huh!

C: Nuh uh!

CC: Uh huh!

***Harry and Hermione get somewhat fed up with the fight and start snogging***

M: Hey, cut it out, okay?

C & CC: NO!

M: *warningly* D'you want me to throw you out?

C & CC: NO!

M: Then stop fighting.

C&CC: Okay. *Glare*

N: Ummmmmm…. Kathy?

M: Yah? *Is staring @ the door*

N: I'm scared.

M: Why?

N: I can… um… *Looks around nervously* I can make 'Monster Mash' play out of my hands.

M: Really?

N: Yeah. *Flicks hand and 'Monster Mash' plays*

M: That's freaky.

***Draco bursts in, wearing a leather jacket, white shirt, and leather pants***

D (Draco): Ricola, ricola, RICOLAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

M: *Grins @ Nancey* Cute, isn't he?

N: No. 

M: *Shrugs* Oh well. Hey, c'mere. *Nancey leans closer as I whisper in her ear*

N: Oooh! That'll be fun!

***We leave as Draco starts beating up Ron again***

D: Die Weasley!

R (Ron): Shut up, you git!

D: NO!

***Two purple monsters burst in, singing***

PPEs (Purple People Eaters): It wuz a one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater, one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater, one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater, sure looks strange to me!

All the people in the room: AHHHHHHHH!!!!! PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS!!

PPEs: *Grab Percy & Cho* YOU ARE EVIL!

P & CC: NO WE AREN'T! PLEASE DON'T EAT US!

PPEs: We weren't going to eat you. People taste nasty. We prefer popcorn.

***All raise eyebrows as the PPEs burst out laughing***

M&N: GOTCHA!!! *Pull off masks*

All except M & N: YOU!

M: Us. Got a problem with it?

R: Yes!

M: Shut up Weasel. 

D&R: HEY!

M: *Bows and does an Elvis impression* Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya very much.

N: Stop it Kathy.

M: No.

N: Don't make me say it.  

M: *innocently* Say what?

N: Mrs. Kathleen Anastasia Weasley.

M: Mrs. Percy Weasley.

M&N: No way! *Stick tongues out @ each other*

All except M&N: ?

M: *Kicks Cho out, then puts a spell on Ron so that he's wearing black & white* Okay, Weasel!

R: Don't call me—fine. If you say so. United we stand….

M: *turns Ron into a giant Oreo and punches him right in the center* The rest, please.

R: Cookies we crumble. *Crumbles to prove his point*

N: HEY! You hurt my ickle Ronniekins!

M: Oops. I guess I shouldn't have punched so hard.

*Cho, Fred, and George burst in, each holding a Hershey's Chocolate Syrup bottle and squirting each other with chocolate syrup* 

CC: Die Weasley twins!

Fred & George: Die Chang!

***Everyone dives for cover***

M: STOP IT!

CC, Fred, & George: NO!

*Grabs the bottles, beckons to Nancey, and hands the bottles to her while whispering in her ear*

N: Okay! *Leaves with CC, Fred, & George*

M: *yawns* Sirius should be here soon.

SB (Sirius): *Comes in angrily* TWO BUCKS A GALLON?! GOOD GRIEF! THAT'S TOO MUCH FOR GAS!!

M: I know. My dad would say the same thing, but he'd throw a few curse words in there.

***Cho comes in, wearing Hershey's Chocolate Sauce underwear***

CC: Look.

***Nobody looks and Cho leaves, pouting***

M: Thank goodness! Know what? I'm hot. Do we have air conditioning in here?

D: Nope.

M: Drat.

HG (Hermione): "I can't STAND another day without air conditioning."

HP (Harry): "I'll call Sears."

HG: "You said you'd call yesterday."

HP: "I'll call today."

HG: "You'll call NOW."

HP: "I'll call NOW."

HG: "So what's the forecast for tomorrow?"

HP: "Another scorcher!"

HG: "COOL."

All except HG & HP: *raise eyebrows* HUH?

M: *shrugs* So I like the Sears commercial. So what?

N: *comes in* Hey Kathy, I did it. *Is referring to Cho and her chocolate sauce underwear*

M: We noticed.

N: You did?

M: No duh.  
N: Why are you in love with Draco?

M: I'm in love with him because I always fall *does a mock faint* for the blondes.

N: *snickers* You're funny.

M: *grins* I know.

N: Hmph.

HP: Um…. Kathy?

M: Yah? *Is reading a book* NO!

All: What?

M: *points@ Ron* You ARE… the weakest link! Goodbye. 

All: ?

M: What?

***McGonagall runs in***

PM (Professor McGonagall): That's my line!

M & All: ?

PM: Well it is! *Puts on a short red wig* See?

M & All: ?

M: Where's my pink file cabinet?

N: I dunno. In your basement?

M: Probably. *Goes over to the computer in the corner and types something* There. Now I have all the things I need.

N: For what?

M: Osama bin Laden's derrière.

All: ?

M: Don't worry about it. It used to be Fanfiction.Net's derrière, but…. 

***A tall brunette named Lily Vance runs in***

LV (Lily Vance): I brought the cow, Kathy. 

M: KEWL! *High fives LV* Let's go.

LV: Shouldn't you put all the characters back in the book?

M: Good point. *Waves hand and all the HP characters vanish* There. Bye Nancey!

N: Bye!

***LV & I exit the room, talking about stale popcorn, cows, and pink file cabinets up certain people's derrières***

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

A/n: Okay. A little explaining is needed here. The 'cookies we crumble' thing is something only my Social Studies group would get. The… er… Mrs. _________ Weasley thing is something Nancey & I argue about a lot. It's sort of an insult. The McGonagall being the lady who hosts 'The Weakest Link' is my idea… I think the host would be the perfect McGonagall. And the 'stale popcorn, cows, and pink file cabinets up certain people's derrières' thing is a joke between Lily Vance and I. 


	2. The Red Room

And here is my fic for THE CHALLENGE. Just sos u know, Alyssa is me (Alyssa means 'flower'), Lily is Lily Vance (my online friend), and Daffodil is Nancey (my friend from the 'outside world'). All things from the rules and regulations will be in purple.  
  
DC: J.K. owns all things Harry. I'm only borrowing them, and will return them unhurt. Well, maybe not quite unhurt, but something close to it.  
  
WARNING: The characters become slightly OOC later on in the fic. Please, do not be alarmed! ____________________________________________________________________________ ____  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Red Room of Insanity @@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table, eating the wonderful food which the ever-helpful house elves had prepared. The Sorting Ceremony had just finished. The ceiling overhead was dark and cloudy, with occasional flashes of lightning.  
  
"It seems a bit odd that Dumbledore didn't say much in the announcements," Hermione was saying.  
  
Ron nodded. "It was odd. He seemed a bit preoccupied."  
  
Suddenly, the doors opened. Every head in the Great Hall swiveled in that direction. There stood three girls, all wearing cloaks and soaking wet.  
  
One was tall and had brown hair that was braided into two plaits down her back. She had on glasses, tight jean flares, clunky heeled boots, and a shirt that said: AMERICANS KICK ASS!  
  
Another one was taller than her and had brown hair with red streaks in it. She wore flares, sneakers, and a plain blue t-shirt.  
  
The third girl was the tallest, with shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair. She was clothed in a jean skirt, platform sandals, and a turquoise tank top.  
  
The girl with the glasses walked up to the staff table with long, purposeful strides, her cloak billowing out behind her. She stopped in front of Dumbledore.  
  
"We are sorry we are late, sir," she said. "Ze flight was delayed because of zis awful rain. We offer you zis large tub of cookies n' cream ice cream as a token of our apologies." The other two girls began walking up to the staff table, carrying an extremely large tub of ice cream between them.  
  
"I forgive you and accept your ice cream. Now, if you three would please stand and face the hall," Dumbledore said. He stood as they turned around to face the students. "Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention, please. I would like to introduce three new students coming to us from Beauxbatons in France. They were previously Sorted into Gryffindor. This is Alyssa Cataphote," he announced, gesturing to the girl with glasses. "This is Lily Golatac," he said next, gesturing to the girl in the platforms. "And this is Daffodil Simetra." He gestured to the girl with red streaks in her hair. "All right, you may sit down at the Gryffindor table."  
  
They did so, grinning. Alyssa sat down next to Hermione, Lily and Daffodil across from her. "Welcome to Hogwarts," Hermione said with a smile. "I'm the Head Girl, Hermione Granger."  
  
"And I'm the Head Boy, Harry Potter," Harry said.  
  
"It's nice to meet you," Alyssa said. "Oh, and call me Lyss. I'm one who likes nicknames."  
  
"Call me Daff," said Daffodil.  
  
"Call me Blossom," Lily said out of the blue. "I am ze leader. I like pink. I wear a big red bow in my 'air, and I save ze day before bedtime." Everyone stared at her, before Lyss and Daff caught on.  
  
"Call me Bubbles. I am ze optimistic, 'appy-go-lucky one. I like blue. I 'ate fights. I save ze day before bedtime," Lyss added.  
  
"Call me Buttercup. I am ze outgoing, rough one. I like green. I love fights, and I save ze day before bedtime," Daff said, grinning.  
  
"Together, we form the best superhero team Townsville has ever seen. We are the Powerpuff Girls!" they concluded in unison. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared.  
  
"Okay...."  
  
"Wait a sec! I thought you guys were French!" Harry exclaimed.  
  
"Oh, no. We were moved from the Salem Witches' Institute for disturbing the peace to Beauxbatons. Then we disturbed the romantic, lovey-dovey air around there, so we got moved here. And you guys are getting it next," Lyss replied with an evil grin.  
  
Harry shrugged and said, "Bedtime, c'mon."  
  
They followed him up to the common room before following Hermione to their dorm, a RED room with three beds, just for them. They got ready for bed and laid down. But, as hard as they tried, they could not get to sleep.  
  
"Hey, Lils?" Lyss asked softly.  
  
"Yeah, Lyss?" she replied.  
  
"I can't sleep."  
  
"Neither can I."  
  
"Me neither," Daff added.  
  
"Oh, good. We're all awake. Anybody want some popcorn?" Lyss asked.  
  
"I do!" Lily and Daff yelled.  
  
"Okay then, here ya go!" replied Lyss, tossing them each a two-liter of Pepsi and a bag of popcorn. They began munching down and talking.  
  
~~~~~A Few Hours Later....~~~~~  
  
"Hey, let's do some acting!" Daff said, giggling like mad.  
  
"Okay! I'll go first," Lyss said. She conjured up a podium with her wand before stepping up to it and clearing her throat.  
  
"Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.  
  
"Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.  
  
"But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate--we cannot consecrate--we cannot hallow--this ground." At this point, Lyss sniffled. "The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note or long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather, to be dedicaated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth."  
  
Alyssa finished with a great sweeping bow, amid cheers from her two friends. They had conjured up roses and began throwing them at her feet. "Thank you, thank you, thank you very much!"  
  
There was a knock on the door. Lily, the only one who was sane enough, went over and opened it. Hermione was on the other side.  
  
"What in the name of Merlin is going on in here?" she asked, coming in.  
  
"We're making speeches," Lyss giggled as she sat down with a cup of Pepsi.  
  
"And it's my turn," said Lily. She walked up to the podium, put her right hand over her heart, and turned to the flag beside her.  
  
"I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America. And to the republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."  
  
"Whoo! Go America!" Daff and Lyss yelled, throwing conjured lillies at Lily's feet. Hermione just stared on, amazed.  
  
"Now it's my turn," Daff declared as she walked up to the stage.  
  
"Uh oh," Lyss muttered.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked.  
  
"She's going to sing. And she's horrible. Here, have some popcorn, to throw at her," she added, handing Hermione some popcorn.  
  
Daff began to sing. 'Lyss was right,' Hermione thought. 'Daff is horrible. Truly and utterly horrible.'  
  
Daff ended her song, which was, consequently, The Star-Spangled Banner. They all threw popcorn at her.  
  
Hermione looked at Lily. "Can I try?" she asked timidly.  
  
Lily grinned. "Sure! Go right on ahead, Hermione."  
  
Hermione smiled and walked up to the podium.  
  
"Ladies and Germs, I am here today to talk to you about Francium. Francium is number 87 on the periodical table of the elements. Its scientific abbreviation is Fr. Francium is in Group 1, and Period 7 of the table. Francium is very metallic. It will explode if exposed to wat--What the hell are you doing, Daff?" This sudden outburst caused Daff, who had been playing obsessively with the light switch, to stop, leaving them all in darkness.  
  
Lyss rolled her eyes. "Daff, you're dumber than a bag of hammers."  
  
Daff looked protestant. They were only able to see her because she had flipped the light back on. "B-but, it's TUESDAY! I'm only dumber than a bag of hammers on Wednesdays!  
  
Lily looked at her watch. "It's 1:23, Daff. It IS Wednesday."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Erg, it's WEDNESDAY? Off to bed, all of you!" Hermione said sternly. "I'll expect this mess cleaned up when I come for you in the morning."  
  
She left, and they all scrambled around, cleaning up. After Lily and Daff had assured Lyss that the room was clean, they went to bed.  
  
****  
  
The next moring, Hermione awoke to a loud creaking and shouting outside her window. She got up and went over to the window, where she found the oddest sight.  
  
A large ferris wheel had been constructed outside, and Professor Snape was sitting at the top, screaming, "Wahoo! Cherries jubilee! Dang, this is fun! Hey, Albus, you should come up here, you can see for miles!"  
  
She watched as Dumbledore shook his head. "No thank you, Severus."  
  
"Whoo! Happy trails, Albus, happy trails!" McGonagall screeched from her position next to Snape. Hermione watched on in wonder. This was getting interesting....  
  
"Hey, Herm, whatcha lookin' at?" Hermione jumped, gasped, and whirled around.  
  
"Harry! Don't sneak up on me like that."  
  
"Sorry. Hey, you won't believe what Lyss and Lily are eating for breakfast."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Peanut Butter Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I don't believe it! I must see this!" She ran after Harry, into their room, where she found Lyss and Lily eating a bag of Peanut Butter Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.  
  
"Holy crapoids, what the hell?" They stopped eating.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't eat Every Flavor Beans for breakfast!"  
  
"Yes we do!"  
  
"It's not normal."  
  
"Well, we're not normal."  
  
Hermione sighed. "All right, eat your beans," she muttered, rolling her eyes. She left the room, in search of Ron.  
  
***Meanwhile***  
  
Ron walked through the corridors, searching for Ginny. At an intersection of hallways, Ron looked around.  
  
"I don't think I've ever been here before," he thought. He turned in a circle where he was. "Yes, I'm completely lost," he concluded.  
  
Just then, he heard strange noises coming from a closet to his left that was labeled, JANITOR. He walked over to the door and flung it open.  
  
And then gasped at what he found before him.  
  
Draco and Ginny, snogging each other senseless. Draco's hands were up her shirt, and Ginny's hands were tangled in his hair. Their legs were tangled together, and they seemed to be trying to get closer and closer to each other. The sight of his sister snogging Malfoy was terrifying, but he was enraged at the same time. However, he let them alone. For some crazy feeling had crept upon him, not unlike a Lethifold. Sighing, he shut the door and began to retrace his steps.  
  
It was not until later that he realized that he was wearing maroon leather pants.  
  
***Later***  
  
"Ron, do you realize that you're wearing leather pants?"  
  
"I am?" Ron looked down at his legs, saying, "I was wondering why my pants felt so ti--ARGH!!!!"  
  
~Fin~  
  
And the end, of a very odd fic of my creation. I think I ended it rather well. ^.^ Toodles! 


	3. The Yellow Room

A/n: Welcome to my fic. Katz is me, Chanhassen is Lily Vance, Jessica is Jessica Lee, and Phoenix is Phoenix Destiny. Yet again, I wrote the challenge for this. Hey, I was bored, and I was having an evil purple stuffed bunny day.  
  
DC: All things Harry-related belong to J.K. Rowling. 'You Make Me Feel Like Dancing' belongs to Leo Sayer, and 'It's My Life' belongs to Bon Jovi. Captain Lint belongs to Biz the Insane. And Jess, Chann, and Nix all belong to themselves, respectively. Of course, I belong to myself, too.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Yellow Room of Insanity @@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
***The Great Hall***  
  
It was the beginning of 7th year, and Sirius, Lily, Remus, James, and Peter were listening to Dumbledore give his usual speech about forbidden objects and the forest.  
  
"On a lighter note," Dumbledore was saying, "we have a group of students from the Salem Witches' Academy in the U.S. coming to us tonight. We'll give them a nice English welcome. Am I correct?" He surveyed the hall.  
  
Sirius grinned and yelled, "Ooh! We'll give them gift baskets!"  
  
The entire Great Hall burst into laughter. "That's not exactly what I was thinking of, Mr. Black. Rather, I was thinking of a nice round of applause," Dumbledore said with a chuckle. "And, now, here are the members of Flaming Rose!"  
  
There was a great round of applause as four girls walked onto a platform that Dumbledore had conjured up. Upon the platform were microphones, a keyboard, and a set of drums. The girls all wore black, hip hugging, leather pants, white platform shoes, and black tube tops with a pictures of flaming roses on them. Two of the girls had cases slung over their backs.  
  
James recognized the girl in front. She had hip length auburn hair that was pulled back into a loose braid. Her eyes were an eerie purple, though that couldn't be told from this far off. She held a guitar in her hands.  
  
"Dear God!" he yelled, loud enough for the whole hall to hear him. "Oops," he muttered.  
  
"James, what is it?" Lily asked.  
  
"That girl.... The one with the auburn hair. She's my cousin."  
  
"What the hell?" Sirius asked.  
  
"She is. She's my dad's brother's daughter. Therefore, she is my cousin."  
  
"So her last name'll be Potter, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The girl, now grinning, had stepped up to the mike. "Hello all you British folk," she said cheerfully.  
  
She was glared at from all around.  
  
"Well, excuse me. How was I to know you didn't like your heritage?"  
  
More glares. James sighed and put his head in his hands.  
  
"Well, anyways, I'm Katz Potter, the lead singer of Flaming Rose."  
  
Gasps.  
  
"She's Katz Potter?"  
  
"Wow, I didn't know James had a sister."  
  
"You'd think you'd know from his outburst when he saw her."  
  
Katz rolled her eyes. James hid under the table.  
  
"Anyways, my fellow members would like to introduce themselves."  
  
The girl with the other guitar stepped up to her mike. She had short raven black hair. "I'm Phoenix Destiny, on the guitar."  
  
The girl on the keyboard, who had shoulder length strawberry blonde hair, said, "I'm Chanhassen Delashmitt, on the keyboard."  
  
"I'm Jessica Lee," said the girl on the drums, who had blonde hair pulled up in a high ponytail.  
  
"Today, for your entertainment, we'll be playing a piece by Bon Jovi. It's called, 'It's My Life'," said Katz. They began to play the music, and Katz began to sing.  
  
When the song had ended, there was a great round of applause from all who liked rock. All those who didn't just glared.  
  
"All y'all who want to sing a song, come on up. We play anything. Believe me, kareoke is fun!"  
  
Lily walked up to the stage. "Can I sing a song?"  
  
"Yeah, sure!"  
  
"Okay." Lily stepped up to the mike and said, "This is a song by Leo Sayer, and it's called 'You Make Me Feel Like Dancing.' It's dedicated to James Potter." At this, James went red. Lily began to sing.  
  
Halfway through, Sirius stood up and began to dance. Many in the Great Hall stared at him.  
  
When Lily finished, she marched over to Sirius, grabbed him by his ear, and marched him out of the hall. Seconds later, they heard her yelling, "SIRIUS, YOU RUINED A SPECIAL MOMENT! I WAS TRYING TO TELL JAMES HOW I BLEEDING FELT ABOUT HIM!"  
  
Nobody knew what he said about this, but some could guess as Lily yelled, "ARE YOU THAT DENSE? OF COURSE I LOVE HIM! GOD!" Then she stomped back into the hall, her face as red as her hair.  
  
James was staring at her, mouth agape. When she sat down next to him, his mouth was still hanging open. She glared at him. "What are you looking at?"  
  
"Lily, I... I love you too."  
  
"You do?" Her eyes were shining with hope.  
  
"I do. I've liked you ever since fourth year."  
  
"Oh my God.... James, I-I...."  
  
James put a finger to her lips. "Shh. No talking."  
  
Katz smiled. She knew James liked Lily. Trust Sirius (whom she had met before) to get them together.  
  
Dumbledore stood up and told them all to go to bed. So they did.  
  
***The Next Day***  
  
Katz woke up in the YELLOW dorm she shared with Lily, Chanhassen (Chan), Jessica (Jess), and Phoenix (Nix). After getting up and splashing cold water all over her face, she came back into the dorm and rummaged around in her trunk for some breakfast. She was rewarded with a bag of popcorn and a 24 oz. bottle of Pepsi. She waved her wand at the popcorn, and it began to pop. Unfortunately, this woke Lily and Chan up.  
  
"Ooh!" cried Chan, springing to life almost immediately. "Is that popcorn?'  
  
"And Pepsi, don't forget the Pepsi," Katz replied.  
  
"Katz, what in the name of Merlin are you doing?"  
  
"Having breakfast."  
  
"You do not have popcorn and Pepsi for breakfast."  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
"It's insane."  
  
"Yes, well, I am a bit insane, aren't I?" Katz replied with a sweet smile.  
  
There was a knock on the door, and Lily got up to open it. There stood James, Sirius, and Remus.  
  
"Hey, girls. Can we come in?" James asked.  
  
"I don't know," replied Lily, "I think the other girls are still asleep."  
  
"No I'm not," Jess and Nix said at the same time, opening their hangings.  
  
"Oh, good, we're all awake!" Katz said. "Anyone up for kareoke?" This comment was greeted by a chorus of sure, why not?'is and I'd love to's.  
  
Three hours later, after waking up the entire castle with their loud music and getting yelled at, they trooped down to the Great Hall, where they were all greeted by glares.  
  
"Gee, you'd think they didn't like rock," Katz said.  
  
"No, they just don't like being woken up at five-thirty in the morning," Remus replied knowledgeably.  
  
They quickly ate breakfast, and then headed to Transfiguration, where they had a substitute.  
  
"Today, class, we will be transfiguring these yellow stuffed ducks into purple stuffed bunnies." It seemed that their sub liked stuffed animals. However, though they had a strong temptation to make mischief, they got straight to work. Perhaps it was because of the Looks Lily and Katz were giving them.  
  
They had all finished rather quickly, and the sub had declared the rest of the period a free day. So now people were doing random things. James and Lily were giving each other goo-goo eyes, and Sirius and Remus were passing notes, most likely about pranks. Nix was humming 'How You Remind Me' by Nickleback, one of her and Katz's favorite bands. Chan was writing in a journal, and Jess was eating Trix, of all things. Peter was writing something and mumbling incoherently to himself. And Katz, well, Katz was obsessively carving the same thing over and over again into her desk with a knife. The thing she was carving was James + Lily = Love, Marriage, and Harry. She had carved this into her desk a few times before she was a furry foot out of the corner of her eye. She looked up, and was amazed at what she saw.  
  
All of the bunnies had come alive, and they were freely moving about the room. None of her classmates had noticed this strange new occurrence, especially not Lily and James, who had moved from goo-goo eyes to snogging. She examined the bunny closest to her carefully. It had a distinctly evil look about it, with an evil gleam in its eye. She jumped as someone shrieked.  
  
Looking around, she saw that five or six of the bunnies had ganged up on Delilah Hawkins, a Hufflepuff. They were attempting to tie her up. A shriek came from her right. She swiveled in that direction. Jess was standing on top her chair, holding her box of Trix high above her head, trying to keep it away from a bunny.  
  
"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!" she said, standing on her tiptoes so that the rabbit wouldn't get them.  
  
"Hello, Katz," said a voice beside Katz. She looked down. All she saw was an evil purple stuffed bunny. And then, the bunny spoke. "Nice looking knife you got there."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Oh, I haven't introduced myself. Captain Lint, leader of the purple stuffed bunnies. Pleased to make your acquaintance."  
  
"Can't say the pleasure is mine, and you mean evil purple stuffed bunnies. And where'd you come up with the name Captain Lint?"  
  
"Biz the Insane gave it to me. Don't ask. Anyways, I was wondering if you would like to join my ranks, since you've got such a nice battle weapon there," replied Captain Lint, looking appreciatively at her knife.  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks," Katz said, climbing onto her desk. "Jen. Jess, Chan! C'mere, and give me all the quills you've got." They handed them to her, and Katz began to transfigure the quills into knives behind her back.  
  
"Ahem. Can I have your attention please?" All of the students and the bunnies stopped and looked at her. "Students! As you can see, we have a great many evil purple stuffed bunnies in our midst. They are, apparently, after us and our knowledge of magic. They are attempting to capture us and take us back to their headquarters. The solution: The evil purple stuffed bunnies must die!" And with that, she threw the quills she transfigured into knives to the students. Then she leaped of the desk into the chaos that followed, ripping the bunnies to shreds.  
  
Only two people were completely oblivious to the chaos and bunny fluff around them. And those two people were Lily Evans and James Potter (who were still snogging).  
  
***Dinner***  
  
Since they had successfully rid the castle of the evil purple stuffed bunnies, Katz was happy as she ate her chili. All of the students except for the Americans had stared at the large crock pots and bowls of shredded cheese and crackers resting on the House tables when they came in.  
  
Katz had taken one look at the tables and declared (with much glee), "It's chili." Everyone at the table had stared at her until Dumbledore stood up.  
  
"Tonight, to make out transfer students feel more at home, we are having an American dish called 'chili.' It contains tomato sauce, chili and kidney beans, ground hamburger, and onions, along with several spices. Feel free to add cheese and cracker to your chili. Enjoy!" With that, he had sat down and helped himself to some chili.  
  
"Wow," Sirius said after taking a few bites. "Gotta hand it to you Americans. Didn't think you could come up with something that tasted better that cheeseburgers."  
  
Katz turned and glared at him. All in one movement, she picked up her bowl and turned it over onto Sirius' head, yelling, "Sirius, you poopyhead!"  
  
Everything and everyone stopped dead and stared at them. Then, his head dripping with tomato sauce, Sirius picked took his bowl and dumped the contents onto Katz's head. She stared at him in shock. After regaining her composure, she picked up a handful of cheese and threw it at him. He ducked, and it hit a Ravenclaw. The Ravenclaw threw some cheese back. And James, always wishing to cause trouble, picked up some mashed potatoes and lobbed them in the general direction of the Slytherin table.  
  
Pandemonium ensued.  
  
~Fin~ 


	4. The Yellow Room 2

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 'Obsidian' is an unofficial copyright of me. Captain Lint belongs to Biz the Insane. Jess, Chan, Nix, and I all belong to ourselves respectively. The name 'Ethelfride' belongs to Maya, author of 'Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing... Rat?'.  
**Author notes:** People you will recognize from Ch. 1:  
Chanhassen: Lily Vance  
Jess: Jessica Lee  
Nix: Phoenix Destiny  
Katz: Me  
  
I'd just like to thank all of my reviewers, my wonderful beta-reader Jen, and my incredibly insane mind for helping me write this work of insanity.

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Chapter 2: The Insanity Continues, and the Evil Purple Stuffed Bunnies Return 

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It was now early December, around ten o' clock in the evening. All of our characters were lounging about in the Common Room except for Lily and James, who were off at a Headperson meeting with Dumbledore, the Headmaster and McGonagall, the Headmistress. Katz, Jen, Jess, and Chan were all arguing over the title for their new song. 

"It should be called 'Glass'," Chan said. 

"I like 'Plastic'," said Nix. 

"'Obsidian'," Katz insisted. 

This argument went on for some time until James and Lily came in and tacked something onto the notice board. Then they came over and sat down. 

"There's to be a ball on Christmas Day," Lily said. 

"Dumbledore's going to make the big announcement tomorrow at breakfast," added James. 

"Lily, do you think our new song should be titled 'Obsidian', 'Glass', or 'Plastic'?" Katz asked. 

"Well, 'Plastic' is downright crazy. 'Glass doesn't sound that good. But I like 'Obsidian'. Go with that one." 

"'Obsidian' it is," Katz said, grinning. Jen and Chan glared at her. "Hey, guys, come on. We're all doing the lyrics!" They sighed and nodded. 

"But, you'll have to do them tomorrow," said Lily. 

"Why?" asked Jess, confused. 

"Because it's ten thirty, and it's time to go to bed." 

"Oh, all right." They all trudged up to bed. 

***In the Girl's Dorm*** 

Lily sat down on her bed, clad in her nightgown. Katz was sitting on her bed, lightly strumming her guitar, wearing a tank top and long pajama pants. Chan was wearing a very large night shirt and boxer shorts. Nix was wearing a large t-shirt and leggings, and Jess was wearing the same outfit as Katz. 

"So Lily, has James asked you to go to the ball with him?" Katz asked. 

"No, not yet. Hey, what guy do you want to ask you to the ball?" 

"Remus," said Nix. 

"No one," Katz said. The other four girls stared at her. 

"What do you mean, 'no one'?" Chan asked. 

"I'm happy single, thank you very much. Besides, you know that all boys are capitalist imperialists. And I defy all capitalist imperialists and pledge my allegiance to the Tsar." 

The girls looked blank. "Huh?" 

"Never mind. Anyways, does anyone want some sour gummy worms?" 

"I do!" Lily, Chan, Nix, and Jess yelled. Katz went into her trunk and pulled out a bag of Trolli Brite Crawlers (TM) and passed them around. There was a chorus of 'mmm, yummy's. 

Katz had just stuck a pink and blue one in her mouth when she heard a tapping on the window. She went over and saw an owl there. She opened the window, let the owl in, and took the letter that the owl held out for her. It then flew back out the window. Katz read the letter quickly and swallowed her gummy worm. 

"Attention all members of Flaming Rose!" she called. They all turned to look at her. "Dumbledore wants us to meet him in his office at six AM tomorrow morning." 

"'Kay, whatever." Katz rolled her eyes and went to bed. 

**The next morning** 

Katz woke up extra early, took a shower, and got dressed in her favorite pair of jeans and her personalized sweatshirt. When she came out of the bathroom, the others were already up and dressed. They headed down. Dumbledore met them in from of the gargoyle. 

"Hello, ladies," he said. Nix, who was _not_ a morning person, glared at him. He merely smiled. "I was wondering if you would play for part of the ball." 

Katz raised her eyebrow. "How much is 'part'?" she queried. 

"Oh, about five songs, maybe more." 

"Huddle!" The girls grouped around Katz. "Do you think we should?' 

"I don't see why not." 

"We could do kareoke." 

"It might be fun." 

They straightened and turned to Dumbledore. "We'll do it," Katz said. 

"Wonderful. Thank you girls." 

"No prob, dude," said Nix with another glare. They walked off. "I'm going back to bed," she announced. 

"I have to go borrow James' invisibility cloak," said Katz. 

"Why?" 

"You'll find out at breakfast." 

With that, Katz skipped off. The other girls looked at each other, puzzled, then shrugged and headed back to Gryffindor Tower. 

**Breakfast** 

Nix, Chan, Jess, Lily, Remus, James, and Peter all sat at the Gryffindor table, eating breakfast. Katz and Sirius had disappeared. 

Dumbledore had made his announcement about the ball and left. 

**The Owlery** 

"Do you think it will work?" whispered a voice. 

"Katz!" Sirius said, whipping around. "You should be downstairs, putting the spells on him!" 

She looked guilty. "I know, but I wanted to see how you were going to manage to get a bucket of soapy water with a little lemon juice into the Great Hall without being seen." 

"Well, you see now," Sirius said, beckoning a few owls down from their perches. 

"Okay. Bye!" She ran off. 

Sirius began fastening the bucket to the owls' feet. Then he had them try to lift it. They couldn't, so he beckoned a few more down and tied the bucket to their feet. This time, they could lift it. 

"Don't spill it, or drop it. You dump it on this person"-here Sirius produced a picture of Snape-"at the Slytherin table. I'm sure you are very intelligent owls, and this is why I entrusted the job to you. Do you understand?" Sirius was given several encouraging nips. "Thanks, guys. Now, off you go!" The owls flew off. 

**The Great Hall** 

Katz waited for someone to go out of the Great Hall so she could slip in. Presently, a Ravenclaw came out and she slipped in. Tiptoeing over to the Slytherin table, she got behind Snape and pulled out her wand. She began mouthing the words to the spells she and Sirius had altered to fit their plans. 

When she finished, she headed back to the doors, where Sirius stood. She gave him a small tap, and her opened the doors. Quickly pulling off the cloak, she stuffed it in her bag and went back into the Great Hall. The others waved her over. 

"Did you do it?" Sirius asked her. She nodded, grinning. They heard the flapping of wings. 

"Ooh, mail's here!" she cried, jumping up. Many people were staring in wonder at the six owls that flew over the Slytherin table, carrying a bucket. All of the sudden, they dumped it onto Snape. Nothing happened, except Snape, with a cry, leaped out of his chair, thoroughly wet. 

"It isn't working," Sirius hissed. 

"Wait for it," Katz said with another grin. 

Slowly, Snape's hair began to turn bright red, his skin yellow-gold, and his robes were turned bright red with little golden lions dotting them. 

The entire hall burst into laughter, except the Slytherins and Snape. Katz and Sirius were down on the floor, laughing their heads off. Katz had tears of laughter running down her face. 

"Oy, Snape!" Sirius called, standing up. "I didn't know you liked the Gryffindor colors!" 

A look of dawning realization came onto Snape's face, which before had held a look of horror, disgust, and puzzlement. "BLACK! Blast you and your triple-cursed wash water!" he yelled. 

Sirius had a look of pure innocence upon his face. "I didn't do anything," he said, crossing his fingers behind his back. 

"You dumped SOAPY WATER on me!" Snape screeched. 

"It has a bit of lemon juice in it, too," Katz offered helpfully. "And Sirius didn't dump it on you, the owls did." 

"I suppose you had a part in this too, Potter?" 

"Well, I did provide the soapy water with lemon juice induced spells." 

Professor McGonagall came striding into the hall. She surveyed the scene before her with an impassive face. "Potter, Black, detention. Tomorrow night, with Mr. Filch in the trophy room." 

Katz and Sirius looked at each other. And grinned. "Yes, Professor," they chorused. McGonagall exited the hall, followed by Sirius and Katz. 

**The Next Night** 

Sirius and Katz trooped into the trophy room, where Filch stood waiting. 

"You're to polish all the trophies," he told them. "Without magic. Hand over the wands." They willingly gave them up. He left, pocketing the wands. 

But little did he know that those were not their real wands. They were fake. 

And so, Katz and Sirius got out their real wands and polished all the trophies with a couple charms. Then they soaked the rags with polish, rung them out a bit, and dumped the rest of the polish out the window. Wonder of wonders, an agitated cry was heard after they dumped the polish out. Looking down, they saw that they had accidentally dumped it onto Lucius Malfoy. 

"Oops," Katz said, before bursting into laughter. Sirius joined her. When their laughter had subsided, Katz pulled out a two-liter of Pepsi, a bag of popcorn, and two cups. 

For the rest of their detention time, they talked and ate. When Filch came in, he was amazed that they had gotten all the trophies to sparkle in suck a short time. Nevertheless, he handed them their wands and told them they could go. 

On the way back to the Common Room, Katz noticed that Sirius kept stealing glances at her. However, he said nothing. Finally, at the end of the Gryffindor corridor, Sirius stopped and looked at her. 

"Katz, I was wondering if you'd.... If you'd... go to the ball with me." 

Katz stared at him. Color was flushing into his cheeks, and she knew she was turning red as well. Biting her lip, she said, "All right, I suppose. As long as I don't have to wear some horrible old dress from the 1800's." This caused them both to laugh. 

They went into the Common Room, where they found a blushing Nix and Remus. 

"Yes, I'll go with you," Nix said. 

Katz sat down next to her, saying, "I see you've got a date for the ball." 

Nix grinned. "Yeah. What about you?" 

Katz nodded. "Ooh! Who?" 

"Sirius asked me just now." 

"You're going with _Sirius_?" 

"Yep." 

"Wow. James asked Lily right after you left. Jess and Chan are still without boys." 

"The fourth and fifth wheels," said Katz with a grin. Nix chuckled. 

"Well, I suppose"-yawn-"that we should"-yawn-"get to bed," she said, yawning again. 

"Definitely," replied Katz. 

***A few days later*** 

The girls all awoke to the loud tapping of an owl on the window. Katz was the first out of bed; she took the package, glanced at the addressee, and handed it to Lily, saying, "Special delivery for a Miss Lillian Evans." 

Lily opened the package, and gave a small scream when she saw what was inside. The other girls all scrambled to see what it was. 

It was a pair of glass slippers. "Put them on," Chan urged. 

"Who're they from?" Nix asked. 

"James, obviously. Unless, of course, Lily's got some other secret lover that we and James don't know about," Jess replied. 

"Lily! Are you snogging with Malfoy?" Katz asked. 

Lily hit her and Jess with a pillow, trying not to upset the slippers, lest they fall and break. 

"Try them on," Nix said. "We want to see how they look." 

Lily obliged. They fit perfectly. "Just like Cinderella," said Chan with a sigh. "Wish I had a Prince Charming." 

Lily began prancing around in the slippers. They moved with her feet, oddly enough. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. The girls all dove under their covers, though Lily took off her slippers and stowed them in the box under her bed beforehand. 

"Come in," they called, once safely under the covers. In came James, Sirius, and Remus. 

"Guys," Katz said, "we're not decent." 

"We came at a good time then," said Sirius coyly. Katz whacked him with her pillow. "Ow!" 

"Well, you deserved it, you ornery thing, you." Sirius pouted. 

"Did you get my present, Lily?" James asked anxiously. 

Lily smiled and jumped out of bed. "Yes I did get it, and may I add that it's superb!" she said, kissing him. 

"Now, now, no snogging," Remus said. 

"Yeah, it might add to something more...." Sirius trailed off, a sick look on his face. Katz swatted him with her pillow. 

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Sirius Ethelfride Black!" 

At this everyone stopped dead. "Y-your middle name is-is _Ethelfride_?" James asked, roaring with laughter. 

Sirius looked horrified. "No, it most certainly is not!" He grabbed Nix's pillow and began to hit her with it. She shrieked, jumped out of bed, and ran away from him. 

Pandemonium ensued in the 7th Year Girls' Dormitory. 

**The Night of the Ball** 

Katz descended the stairs right in front of Lily, Jess, Nix, and Chan. She wore a pretty, backless purple dress that brought out her eerie purple eyes. Her hair was braided and wrapped around her head. 

Lily wore a green, strapless dress and her glass slippers. Her hair was pulled up in a handsome chignon. 

Nix wore a black halter top dress. Her hair hung down. 

Jess wore a periwinkle colored dress that had several spaghetti straps. Her hair was pulled up into a becoming bun. 

Chan wore a blue dress that had spaghetti straps that criss-crossed her bare back. Her hair fell loose as well. 

Katz also carried a bag with her. "What have you got there?" Sirius asked. 

"Tis a secret," replied Katz. Sirius glanced down. Good. She was wearing normal shoes. She had threatened to wear her combat boots. 

"Well, I suppose we'd better go down," said James. They all nodded and headed downstairs. When they were right in front of the doors, Dumbledore took Katz, Nix, Chan, and Jess aside. 

"Could you girls play first?" he asked. 

"Sure! We'll just need to change our outfits." 

"All right then, thank you." 

"No problamo." The girls headed to one of the bathrooms. 

When they emerged, they all wore pants that matched the tops of their dresses. In fact, it looked like they were wearing jumpsuits. 

"All right, let's get this show on the road," said Katz, who had been true to her threat. She was now wearing her black combat boots and a white feather boa. 

All of the couples entered the Great Hall. The members of Flaming Rose stepped up to the stage. 

"Are y'all having a nice evening?" ask Katz. A weak 'yes' was heard, but most people were staring at Katz's very eccentric outfit. Katz looked steadily on, and said, "I am unique. Deal with it." 

"Yes, yes, we all know that," said Nix. "Now, this is a song by us. It's titled 'Obsidian'." 

"Easy to break 

Sharp like glass 

You make my heart ache 

With your bloody class 

And it's all your fault, 

It's all because 

I'm obsidian, obsidian 

You call me, ask for a date 

I agree, and then you're late 

You hate my friends 

Dump them you say 

Yet you keep yours 

Tom, Sam, and Jay 

Why can't you 

Let me do what I want? 

Easy to break 

Sharp like glass 

You make my heart ache 

With your bloody class 

And it's all your fault, 

It's all because 

I'm obsidian, obsidian 

Can't go out at night 

We always fight 

Can't talk to boys 

Help me, I say 

You turn away 

I'm sick of your toys 

Easy to break 

Sharp like glass 

You make my heart ache 

With your bloody class 

And it's all your fault, 

It's all because 

I'm obsidian, obsidian 

I'm obsidian, 

And soon you'll see 

That I'm tougher than 

You think I am 

I'm obsidian, obsidian, obsidian!" 

Here Nix had an amazing heavy guitar solo. 

"Easy to break 

Sharp like glass 

You make my heart ache 

With your bloody class 

And it's all your fault, 

It's all because 

I'm obsidian, obsidian 

Easy to break 

Sharp like glass 

You make my heart ache 

With your bloody class 

And it's all your fault, 

It's all because 

I'm obsidian, obsidian 

You're being mean 

You can't be seen 

You're using me." 

There were cheers all around. Katz bowed, then said, "And now, we have a special prize for the Obsidian Queen of the Ball!" She pulled out a thin, black crown made of obsidian. "We have four nominees, one from each house. For Slytherin, we have Narcissa Cooper. For Hufflepuff, we have Savannah Hawthorne. For Ravenclaw, we have LeFay Young, and for Gryffindor, we have the great, the wonderful, the one and only Lily Evans! Come on up here, girls!" The four girls walked up to the stage and faced the students. "James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter will be counting the votes. When I point to the girl you want to win, raise your hand." Katz pointed to each girl in turn. In the end, Lily won, and was awarded the crown. She then was allowed to sing a song. 

When she finished, Flaming Rose played three more songs, then stepped off the stage. They went and changed, though Katz still wore her combat boots. 

Sirius greeted her when she got back with a smile that was to die for. They began to dance to a slow waltz. 

Suddenly, the doors flew open. A large army of evil purple stuffed bunnies stood there. 

Katz sighed and broke away from Sirius, saying, "Excuse me. I knew they'd come back." She pulled off the bottom of her dress, revealing the pants she had been wearing earlier. Pulling a knife out of her right boot, she brandished it and stood before the bunnies. 

"So you came back for more, eh?" she asked them. "Why, hello, Captain Lint." The bunny stepped forward. 

"Get her!" he cried, and the bunnies surged forward. They knocked Katz down by the knees, grabbed her knife, and proceeded to tie her up. 

She swore. "My, such colorful language," said an amused voice. Katz turned to see a thin, anorexic blonde walk up to her. 

"Kelly Reed! What the heck are you doing here?" 

"That's right. Me. I've teamed up with Captain Lint because I've been wanting to kill you for a long time, Potter. And now I have my chance." 

"Wait just a minute there!" someone yelled, running up. It was James. "Keep your hands off my cousin, you wench!" 

Kelly laughed. "Such a British term, 'wench.' But you will not succeed in defeating me!" With this, she pulled out her wand and pointed it at James. "Stupefy!" James fell to the floor, Stunned. 

Sirius came running forward, his wand out and pointing at Kelly, crying, "Stupefy!" She fell to the foor, Stunned, just like James. Sirius then began to untie Katz. However, Captain Lint had other plans. He came charging up, a feather boa in his hand. 

"How dare you defeat my mistress!" he yelled, hitting Sirius with the boa. Sirius rolled his eyes and pointed his wand at Captain Lint. 

"Desentigo!" Captain Lint exploded into thousands of tiny bits of fluff. When this happened, all the other bunnies froze, before exploding just like their leader. 

When Sirius untied Katz and hepled her up, she smiled at him. "My hero," she said softly, kissing his cheek. At this, Sirius swept her off her feet and carried her outside, where they stood snogging under the stars. 

***Two Years Later*** 

Sirius set Katz down, smiling at her as he climbed up onto their mode of transportation. She wrapped her arms around his middle as he picked up the reins and yelled, "Giddap, Killer!" 

And so ends our story, as the crazy newlyweds set off to the location of their honeymoon upon the back of a six foot, bright blue, floating donkey with wings, a 'Just Married' sign spray painted on its rear. 

And they lived happily ever after. 

~Fin~


	5. The Yellow Room 3

Summary: In the third and final chapter of the Yellow Room of Insanity, Katz and the gang come back to save Hogwarts from... you guessed it, the evil purple stuffed bunnies! With pepsi and popcorn and a Pringles commercial, you're sure to laugh and be grossed out! PG-13 for cussing. Written before OotP, but then, I'm in denial, so.... Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. *sigh* LOTR and all Elvish stuffs belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, great man that he is. Pringles belong to whoever invented them. Desentigo Charm... mine. Whee. Jess belongs to Jessica Lee. Nix belongs to Phoenix Destiny. Chan belongs to Lily Vance. Katz and Star belong to me, along with Star's crazy comments, because, alas, Star is me. Author Notes: To Lily, the amazing beta, who is so terribly funny. And to Jess, Jen, Nancey, and Jenny. But most of all, to Remus. And Sirius, for I'm still in denial. And proud of it!  
  
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Twenty years after Katz and Sirius were married..  
  
"You are the worst student that has ever walked the corridors of this school!" Snape railed, causing Neville to crumble in fear. "I hope that you die someday soon, so that you may never darken my doorway again!"  
  
Harry sighed. He was so sick of this. Every single lesson, Snape would go on and on about this. Today, however, it was worse, because Neville had not only melted his cauldron; he had also melted four other cauldrons, one of which contained a very special potion that Snape was preparing for Madame Pomfrey.  
  
The door burst open, and a young woman, clad in purple, strode up the aisle, stopping just in front of Harry. "Severus Snape, you leave that poor child alone," she commanded.  
  
Snape paled. "P-p-potter!"  
  
"Yes, Professor?" Harry asked, thinking, 'He sounds like Quirrel!'  
  
The young woman turned. "He means me, Harry dear," she said, before turning back to Snape. "I think you mean 'B-b-black!' Snapey-poo," she said sweetly. She held up her left hand, palm down, so he could see the sapphire ring she sported on her ring finger.  
  
"So you did marry him," Snape commented vehemently. The students were watching this exchange with interest.  
  
"Of course! Now, if I were you, I'd let these students go, or you might find that you can teach an old dog new tricks," she threatened.  
  
Snape swallowed. Harry was amazed. He had never seen Snape this scared. "You all-you all may go," Snape stuttered.  
  
The woman smiled, turned, and patted Harry on the shoulder. "Meet me in your Common room after dinner," she whispered. He nodded, dumbstruck.  
  
Harry headed to his dorm before going to dinner, as Potions was the last class he had that day.  
  
"Black," Hermione muttered. "You don't think she's-?"  
  
"She very well could be," Harry answered, "though Sirius never mentioned being married, and I never saw a ring."  
  
"I think she's weird," Ron piped up.  
  
"I think she's cool," argued Hermione. "She totally had Snape quaking when she threatened him."  
  
"I think he wet his pants!" Seamus exclaimed suddenly, causing Harry, Ron, and Hermione to edge away.  
  
Dumbledore stood up. "Dear students and staff," he said, "I have an announcement to make." He paused.  
  
And paused some more.  
  
More pausing.  
  
Dumbledore seriously did not seem like he was going to make that announcement.  
  
The students were getting restless.  
  
"Then make it already!" someone yelled from the Slytherin table.  
  
"I am pleased to announce that we will have some former students joining us this month. They wish to help out, seeing as they have no concerts at this time. Each one will be helping out with a core class. And hopefully, they will be here soon.."  
  
There was silence.  
  
Concerts? Harry mouthed to Hermione and Ron. They shrugged.  
  
More silence.  
  
The food was getting cold.  
  
They waited.  
  
The tapping of a foot was heard.  
  
The doors slowly opened, and four young women entered. One of them was the one who had scared Snape.  
  
The students gasped.  
  
"Ah, here they are!" Dumbledore exclaimed happily as they walked up to the staff table.  
  
"You're late," McGonagall observed.  
  
The young woman whom Harry recognized grinned cheekily. "A witch is never late, Professor McGonagall. Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to," she said.  
  
Professor McGonagall sighed and shook her head.  
  
Dumbledore was chuckling. "I would hope so. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you all to the members of Flaming Rose."  
  
There were several gasps among the girls.  
  
"Flaming Rose? Omigosh! They're like, the best 80's group ever!"  
  
"They play 90's, too!"  
  
"They're the best!"  
  
"Can I have your autographs?"  
  
"Oh, bugger." This last statement was made by the woman in purple. "I knew they'd do this. Please, Professor, just get on with it."  
  
"As I was saying," Dumbledore continued, "these are the members of Flaming Rose. This young lady in purple is Kathleen Potter-er-Black. She plays lead guitar, and will be helping Professor Flitwick out.  
  
"The young lady in green is Jessica Lee. She will be helping Professor Snape"-the Potions teacher moaned-"and will try not to play any pranks, am I right?"  
  
Ms. Lee nodded, somewhat sullenly.  
  
"The young lady in blue here is Chanhassen Delashmitt. She plays keyboard, and will work with Professor McGonagall. And the last young woman is dear Phoenix Destiny, who plays bass guitar. She will help Professor Sprout.  
  
"And since I know you're all dying to hear them, they will play their hit, 'Obsidian,' for you now."  
  
The women walked over to a small stage where their instruments had been set up.  
  
"A one, a two, a one, two, three, four!"  
  
They began. The girls were screaming, the guys were grumbling about sappy love songs. However, this wasn't really sappy. It was. rocky. And it had a nice beat. Harry found himself bobbing his head and keeping time with his foot.  
  
[A/n: If you wish to see the lyrics, go back to Chapter 2.]  
  
When they were finished, there was a mad rush to get autographs.  
  
"SILENCE!"  
  
Dead silence. Everyone froze.  
  
"Now," Dumbledore continued, "I would like the prefects to help these ladies with their instruments and baggage."  
  
Harry stood up. So did Hermione, Draco, Terry Boot, Susan Bones, and Ginny.  
  
"I said prefects."  
  
Harry and Hermione sat down.  
  
"But the Head Boy and Girl are to lead them to their place of accommodation."  
  
Harry and Hermione stood back up.  
  
Draco was grumbling as he went into the Entrance Hall and picked up two suitcases. He followed Harry, Hermione, and the four women to the fourth floor, where they stopped in front of a portrait of a small girl in a yellow dress.  
  
"Legolas," said Hermione.  
  
Ms. Lee squealed. "Isn't that just like him, Katz?" she asked of Ms. Potter-er-Black.  
  
The other three women nodded.  
  
"Mae govannen," the portrait replied.  
  
"Hannon le1," said Ms. Lee as the portrait swung open. They stepped inside.  
  
"Oh, it's the same yellow room!" cried Ms. Dewhatsit. Draco couldn't remember.  
  
He was planning to get out of there as quickly as possible, but as soon as he made one move towards the door, Ms. Lee had him by the ear.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"Not so fast, little Malfoy," she calmly stated.  
  
"I'm not little," he protested.  
  
"You are smaller than your father. You are little."  
  
Draco grumbled a reply.  
  
"'Scuse me?"  
  
"How could you know my father? You're much too young. He's at least ten years older than you."  
  
Ms. Lee laughed gaily. "Did you hear that girls?" she asked of the others. "He said his father is at least ten years older than me!"  
  
The other women burst into laughter.  
  
Ms. Potter-er-Black came over and said, "Draco, your father is younger than me."  
  
"And Katz is the youngest of us."  
  
"Katz?"  
  
"Yes Harry?"  
  
"I-I think I've heard of you.."  
  
"From who?"  
  
"I'll uh-I'll tell you later."  
  
"Okay. Now, everybody except Harry and Hermione out!"  
  
"Wait! Can I keep him?" Ms. Lee asked, putting an arm around Draco.  
  
"Ask his father," Ms. Potter-er-Black replied, picking up her suitcase and guitar.  
  
Ms. Lee let him go. "Yeah, right."  
  
Draco got out of there as soon as she let him go.  
  
The women staked out their rooms before coming back into the main one.  
  
"Now, Harry, tell me who you heard my name from."  
  
"A man.. Sirius Black."  
  
Her eyes widened. "Oh my God.."  
  
"He was telling me about how you defeated the evil purple stuffed bunnies in your seventh year. However, he only called you 'Katz.'"  
  
"How-how do you know him?"  
  
"I met him in third year. It's a long story."  
  
"Well then, tell me. You don't have Astronomy tonight, do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"All right, then. Oh, and please call us, in private, Katz, Jess, Chan, and Nix."  
  
"Er-okay, Katz."  
  
So Harry told her everything. When he finished, she had tears in her eyes.  
  
"God love that man," she whispered.  
  
"'Cause no one else will," Nix murmured.  
  
"Except you," added Jess.  
  
"If only I had known," muttered Katz, "I would have talked to you sooner."  
  
Harry seriously did not get what was going on.  
  
"So, you're saying that.?" Hermione apparently had some clue, but did not wish to voice it, due to her tone.  
  
"I'm your godmother, Harry."  
  
Dun dun dunnnnn!  
  
Announcer, v.o.: And now, for a word from our sponsor!  
  
"Buy Pringles, 'cause 'once you pop, the fun don't stop!'"  
  
Announcer, v.o.: Now back to our feature presentation!  
  
"Er.."  
  
"What the hell was that?" asked Nix.  
  
"I have no clue," replied Chan.  
  
"Anyways," said Katz, "I'm your godmother, Harry."  
  
Dun dun dunnnnn!  
  
"All right, who keeps doing that?" Nix glared up at the ceiling.  
  
"Er, me?" A young girl, about 14, dropped down from the ceiling, where she had been sitting on a ledge.  
  
"Who are you?" asked Katz.  
  
"Kathleen Starlett Potter. Most people call me Katz."  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
Hermione gaped at her.  
  
"Sorry, Hermione. But that's my name! Well, my name before I-well, before I got married."  
  
"That's 'because you are me," the younger version of Katz replied. [A/n: Just to make it easier, we'll call her Star.] "I'm an author. I created you. You're a cameo of me. And I just stuck myself in this story for no apparent reason."  
  
"And the Pringles commercial?" Chan demanded.  
  
Star shrugged. "Humorous purposes.2 Toodles!" She jumped back up onto the ledge.  
  
"Well, that was. interesting," said Hermione.  
  
"Well, that was. creepy," said Harry.  
  
"You know what else is creepy?" Star yelled down from her perch. "That Haldir led Rivendell Elves to Helm's Deep instead of Lothlorien Elves!"  
  
"Erm. does anyone know what she's talking about?" asked Jess.  
  
There was a chorus of 'Nope.'  
  
"And then, Haldir has to go and bloody get himself bloody buggering killed!"  
  
"Hey! Watch your language!" Chan admonished.  
  
There was the sound of a large raspberry being blown. "It's all Elrond's fault."  
  
"Riiiiight."  
  
"Let's all ignore her," Nix suggested.  
  
"How about we tie her up and throw her in a closet with Malfoy?"  
  
"Nah, he's probably long gone by now."  
  
"Snape, then."  
  
"EWWWWWW!"  
  
"Shut up, little Orc," said Katz.  
  
"HA!"  
  
"Katz, who are you married to?" asked Harry.  
  
There was the sound of mad laughter from overhead.  
  
"Er. I'm not sure if this is the right time.."  
  
"It is! The evil purple stuffed bunnies are coming soon!" Star shrieked.  
  
"I'm going to ignore that," said Katz.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Harry, I'm married to your godfather. I'm married to Sirius."  
  
Dun dun dunnnnn!  
  
"Will you cut that out?"  
  
"Okay, fine."  
  
"You-you're married to Sirius?"  
  
Katz nodded.  
  
"Then why didn't you try to prove him innocent when he was put into Azkaban? Huh? If you loved him enough to be his wife, then why didn't you try to help him?"  
  
"Harry, I can understand why you'd be mad at me. But believe me; I had no proof, save what he told me when I went to Azkaban to visit him. And even if I did have hardcore evidence, that evil Crouch would never have let me testify. And then, when Fudge became Minister, he didn't, either. Believe me, I used every bit of wit, charm, and intelligence that I owned to get him out of there, but nothing helped. If I could have helped him in any way, I would have. Please believe me Harry."  
  
Harry looked at her. She seemed sincere enough. "Okay. Hey, d'you want to see him?"  
  
Katz looked at him. "Can I?"  
  
"Yeah, we've got a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, and we're going to go visit him."  
  
Katz hugged him. "Oh, thank you, you wonderful godson, you!"  
  
Harry went scarlet. "Erm. I have to go do some homework now.."  
  
"Oh, so when a pretty woman hugs you, that's when you decide to do homework of your own free will," said Hermione with a grin.  
  
Harry just grinned sheepishly before saying, "I have to go."  
  
"Okay! See you tomorrow!" said Katz. With that, Harry and Hermione left.  
  
***The Next Day***  
  
Katz showed up in the Gryffindor Common Room at eight on the dot, intent on getting the full visitation experience. She had gotten permission from Dumbledore to take Harry, Ron, and Hermione down to Hogsmeade early.  
  
They quickly ate breakfast before heading down to the small town.  
  
Katz was dressed in red today, and wore a ruby necklace that she kept fingering. When Ron asked her why she kept fingering it, she explained that Sirius had given it to her. His reaction was to fall silent.  
  
Harry had owled Sirius last night to tell him that he was bringing a visitor to come see him.  
  
Sirius had owled back early in the morning, wanting to know who it was, but Harry had only told him that he would be very glad to see her. Harry told Katz this as they climbed the slope leading to Sirius' cave, and she chuckled happily.  
  
Finally, they reached the entrance to the cave. Harry, Ron and Hermione walked in first, and Katz could hear Sirius demanding to know who she was.  
  
Then Katz decided that it was time. She stepped inside the cave.  
  
There was silence. She gaped at Sirius' disheveled state, with his hair down to the shoulders, and a beard growing. She felt tears fill her eyes.  
  
Sirius, in like manner, gaped at her, as if she was a completely new person.  
  
"Katz," he whispered, just as she whispered his name. Then they ran to each other and embraced.  
  
Then Harry, Ron, and Hermione had to turn away as they started to snog.  
  
When they had finally stopped, they sat down and talked. Sirius wanted to know how she had been all these years, and how life was treating her. What he really wanted to know was if she had fallen in love with someone else.  
  
She sensed this. "Sirius, sweetie, look at this," she murmured, moving closer and sitting in his lap. She showed him her ring.  
  
His eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Katz, how could I have ever doubted you?"  
  
She grinned. "I dunno, but le ab-dollen getting back to me."  
  
He blinked.  
  
"You're late," she whispered. "Sirius, why don't you come back up to the castle with me? I'm sure Jess, Nix, and Chan would all love to see you." He shook his head in reply to this. "All right, love. Just, listen. I'll be back, all right? Without these three. So we can. talk."  
  
However, you could tell by the tone of her voice that she wanted to do much more than. talk.  
  
"Bye." With that, she kissed his cheek and left the cave.  
  
No one spoke as they headed back up to the castle.  
  
***The Next Day, Transfiguration***  
  
As the students filed in, Chan sat behind a makeshift desk, eating popcorn and drinking Pepsi. McGonagall was looking on disapprovingly, but Chan paid her no heed. When Neville raised his hand, Chan quickly swallowed a mouthful of popcorn before asking, "Yes, Mr. Longbottom?"  
  
"Miss Delashmitt, what is that you're eating?"  
  
"Popcorn, Mr. Longbottom. It is my breakfast."  
  
The students stared at her. She chuckled.  
  
"Now, today we will be talking about Animagi. Professor McGonagall will give you a demonstration."  
  
McGonagall promptly turned into a cat and back.  
  
Chan stood up. "Now, can anyone tell me some of the pros and cons of being an Animagus.?" Several hands shot up.  
  
Meanwhile, in Charms, Katz was having a field day with the Slytherins. She was wearing her combat boots and camouflage robes. She had charmed a big stick to float over their heads, and every time someone did or said something to annoy her, she waved it lower over Draco's head.  
  
This, of course, was very effective, owing to the fact that everyone in Slytherin loved Draco.  
  
"Now, Crabbe, tell me the use of the Desentigo Charm," she was saying.  
  
Crabbe looked clueless.  
  
"Perhaps I could tell you, Ms. Potter-er-Black," Draco said, raising his hand.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him and lowered the stick.  
  
"It's Black, Mr. Malfoy."  
  
"Right. So sorry." However, she could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn't sorry at all. She lowered the stick two inches.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"Desentigo is a disintegrating charm. It will disintegrate any object that is not human, animal, or stone. This charm was used effectively by Sirius Black to save Hogwarts from the evil purple stuffed bunnies in 19783, his seventh year. He also saved one Kathleen Potter from certain death at the hands of the leader of the evil purple stuffed bunnies, Captain Lint."  
  
"Very good, Draco. And do you know where this one Kathleen Potter is now?"  
  
"Standing right in front of us, under the surname of 'Black.' She married Sirius Black in 1979, one year after he saved her life and two months after James Potter and Lily Evans got married."  
  
Katz was so pleased with this that she waved the stick up to the ceiling.  
  
"Excellent. I want you all to open to page one hundred twenty-seven in your textbook and read to page one hundred thirty-seven, and then answer the questions I have written on the board. If you aren't finished by the end of class, it's homework. Oh, and ten points to Slytherin for Mr. Malfoy's extended explanations."  
  
"Thank you, Ms. Black," said Draco.  
  
Katz just smiled happily.  
  
Down in Potions, however, Jess was having a hard time with the Gryffindor 5th years. They were working on a disintegrating potion, and Colin Creevey's had just melted his cauldron, so now everyone was on top of their stools, for fear of his potion disintegrating their shoes.  
  
Grumbling slightly, Jess cautiously climbed down from her stool and went over to Colin, avoiding all the small pools of potion.  
  
"As much as I hate to do this, ten points from Gryffindor, for your lack of following directions. I specifically told you to add the beetles' eyes before the shredded shrivelfig."  
  
Colin hung his head.  
  
"It's all right. Everyone"-here Colin cut her off.  
  
"I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my heart."  
  
"Erm.. Okay. Well, everyone needs to begin cleaning up."  
  
As they cleaned up, no one noticed the door open and shut. No one noticed a small, furry animal leaving the room. No one, that is, except Jess.  
  
'Damn,' she thought. 'I was hoping Katz was wrong, but she was right all along. They're back. But so are we. That's why we're here. That's why we need Sirius.'  
  
As soon as the bell rang, she ran off to tell Katz.  
  
The bell had rung once she reached the Charms corridor. She hurriedly knocked on the door.  
  
"Enter." She walked quickly in, right up to Katz.  
  
"Ms. Lee, don't you have a class to attend to?"  
  
"Yes, but that's not the point," Jess answered in hushed tones. "Katz, they're back. I saw one in the Potions classroom last class."  
  
"Bugger," Katz muttered. "I've been teaching everyone the Desentigo Charm. You keep on making disintegrating potions. They'll attack at sunset. We should have enough by then."  
  
Jess nodded and hurried off.  
  
At lunchtime, Katz ran down to the greenhouses.  
  
"Are they ready?" she asked of Jen.  
  
"Almost. We still need to get Chan to transfigure earmuffs."  
  
"Yesh. I'll go see her about that. I'll see you at three."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Katz then ran into the Great Hall, where she headed toward Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"It's almost ready, Albus," she whispered.  
  
"Good. Are the Mandrakes nearly ready?"  
  
"Yes. They just need a few more hours. However, we need earmuffs."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yesh. I don't think the Transfiguration classes can make eight hundred pairs of earmuffs before dusk."  
  
"Well then, we'll just have to improvise." He stood up.  
  
"Everyone, I would like you to pull out your wands." The students, except for the Slytherins, obeyed.  
  
Katz, seeing this, conjured up a big stick and waved her wand to make it hover very closely over Draco's head. The Slytherins pulled out their wands.  
  
"Now, we are going to transfigure our goblets into earmuffs. There is a reason behind this that you will see at sundown. Wave your wands, and say, "Earium Muffius."  
  
The students did so, and a moment later, the hall was filled with earmuffs.  
  
"Please keep these with you and bring them to dinner tonight. You are dismissed."  
  
The students left.  
  
Katz continued to teach the students Desentigo. Jess continued making potions.  
  
Finally, it was dinnertime. Katz came in, garbed in army attire. She had a knife stuck in her boot, and several more in her belt.  
  
She distributed these knives to the teachers. Glancing around, she saw that Jen had brought in all the Mandrakes and was distributing them out to the Hufflepuffs.  
  
She ran over to the Gryffindors and said, "Now, do you all remember the spell I taught you today?"  
  
"Yes, Ms. Black," they intoned.  
  
"Good. You'll need it."  
  
Meanwhile, Jess was instructing the Slytherins and Ravenclaws on how to use the disintegrating potion effectively. Luckily, they understood. They were smart.  
  
Sighing slightly, Katz stepped up onto the Head Table, saying, "'Scuse me, Albus." She turned to face the students.  
  
"May I have your attention please?" The students quieted, except for the Slytherins, as usual. Katz got her big stick out. The Slytherins shut up.  
  
"As you all can see, we have been preparing for a big event. It is an attack."  
  
At this, the students jumped up and began racing about, alarmed.  
  
"SILENCE!" Katz yelled. Everyone stopped dead. "Now, the real reason we- meaning the members of Flaming Rose-came here is to prepare this school should there be another attack. Hopefully, we have prepared you enough. We have equipped you with the proper auditory protection from the Mandrakes and supplied you with potions and spells.  
  
"The evil purple stuffed bunnies attack at dusk. When I give the signal, I want you all to put on your earmuffs. Then, as soon as all of the bunnies are in the hall, I want the Hufflepuffs to pull out the Mandrakes. This will result in the stunning of all the bunnies. Then I want the Gryffindors, Slytherins, and Ravenclaws to disintegrate the furry little fiends. However, there will be one bunny, with a big yellow stomach, that I want for myself. If anyone, anyone at all, disintegrates that bunny, they will be punished.  
  
"Now, tuck in!" She jumped off the table into her chair and began to eat. She was finished in ten minutes. Almost immediately after that, she looked up at the ceiling. "Bugger." The ceiling was beginning to turn a purplish hue.  
  
Chan, with her très excellente ears, heard the pitter-patter of nearly two thousand little feet, give or take a few. She motioned to Katz, who jumped back up onto the Head table, causing Snape's face to land in his mashed potatoes.  
  
"Everyone, earmuffs! NOW!" There was a mass movement of picking something up and putting it on their heads. "Very good. Now. oh, forget it, I can't even hear myself."  
  
The doors burst open.  
  
Katz gave the signal, and the Hufflepuffs pulled out the Mandrakes. However, there was one setback in this perfect plan-the bunnies had earmuffs.  
  
"SHIT!" Nix and Katz yelled in unison.  
  
Katz immediately pulled out both wand and knife and began disintegrating and chopping up bunnies. The students and teachers followed suit. Luckily, the Hufflepuffs soon caught on to the disintegrating charm and began using it.  
  
It was a hard struggle. At one point, Katz found herself surrounded by ten bunnies. They jumped her and tackled her to the floor.  
  
"DAMMIT!" The bunnies began to tie her up. Nix, Chan, and Jess attempted to come and help her out, but about twenty more bunnies held them off.  
  
Suddenly, the doors burst open. Katz lifted her head, saw who it was, and grinned.  
  
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stood there, looking mad as hell. They advanced into the hall, straight to Katz and Nix. Sirius began angrily hacking at the bunnies with his knife. "Damn rabbits," he muttered, slicing off a head.  
  
"Sirius," Katz rasped. (A bunny was sitting on her upper chest.) He looked at her and grinned, "Hey."  
  
"Hi. Mind getting this piece of shit off my chest?" Sirius immediately picked up the bunny by the ears and sliced off its head. Then he began cutting her binding. He had gotten her arms free when another troupe of bunnies attacked him. With amazing skill, he fought them off, with some aide from Katz.  
  
Finally, Katz was free. Knife in hand, she began to search for Captain Lint Jr., who had a yellow stomach. Luckily, he was extremely easy to find.  
  
"Kill the musicians!" he was yelling. Katz immediately sliced off his head.  
  
There was silence. Everyone stood stock-still. And suddenly, there was a rush of wind, and the bunnies dissolved. The mass of students broke into cheers as a layer of dust settled over them all.  
  
Several of the students, allergic to dust, began having asthma attacks. Madame Pomfrey and Chan rushed them up to the Hospital Wing.  
  
And in the midst of it all, there were three couples, completely lost in themselves and oblivious to everything else: Kathleen Potter-Black and Sirius Black, Phoenix Destiny and Remus Lupin, and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.4  
  
However, their happiness was short-lived as Dumbledore came over soon after and said that Sirius and Remus would have to go before the Ministry arrived.  
  
Sirius didn't want to. However, Katz sweet-talked him into leaving. She loved him way too much to see him carried off to have his soul sucked out.  
  
Evil purple stuffed bunnies have never attacked Hogwarts again. yet. Katz still isn't dead. She may just come back when she's seventy years old to save the school again. Who knows? Only time can tell.  
  
1 These phrases are Elvish. They mean, respectively, 'Welcome' and 'thank you.' 2 I also must have been on a sugar high, because the Pringles thing. that was weird.  
  
3 Please see info from The Harry Potter Lexicon on James Potter for more information. 4 Right. I just wanted that in there, they were going out before. Have fun.  
  
Many thanks to all who reviewed Chapters One and Two! You all are my inspiration! 


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